333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Smash Mansion
by SmashStuff
Summary: Find out what happens when the Smashers are let loose! Inspired by "333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of the UN." Rated T for whack-o-ness.
1. Chapter 1

HEEEELLLLOOOOO,** GUYSES! As you can see, (unless you didn't read the title, female dog) this is a fic that will be mostly humorous****_. _****From 1 to 333, these are ****_333 Ways to Get Kicked out of the Smash Mansion!_**

**_1. Super Glomping_**

A certain blue hedgehog was staring at a certain moustashioed plumber, waiting to launch.

"He's right where I want him," the hedgehog said.

He then ran up really fast to Mario and hugged, no, strangled, him.

And from that day on, Crazy Hand would be allowed to do whatever he wanted to do to someone who glomped Mario.

**2. Max your credit card**

Peach and Nana were at the mall, doing what girls do at the mall. Shop.

But of course, this is Peach we're talking about. The mall decided not to let her spend as much as was on her budget. However, she did, and was placed alongside the likes of Sonic as Crazy Hand educated them in the art of trolling.

All Nana bought was a stuffed pterodactyl.

**3. Get drunk on sugary soda**

Toon Link and Kirby were making a trip to the fridge to get what no other Smasher has gotten before.

Cream soda.

Toon Link was fine, although he had to get a fairy from the items department.

The same cannot be said for Kirby.

**4. Live someone else's life**

After placing a bet with Link, Zelda believed she could live in the Hyrulian's shoes for a day. So they asked Manaphy to switch their bodies.

However, Zelda had no idea what Link does, and it ended up with a trip to the infirmary.

**5. Be bilingual**

Ike always teased Marth about his taunting in Japanese. So he decided to taunt in English from then on.

And this, my reader, is why SSB4 was delayed.

**Gosh, I hope you liked it! My favorite one was number two!**

**P.S. This will update a lot, 'cuz I have no life. So if you like it, it might make more sense to favorite. KTHXBAI **


	2. Chapter 2

**IMMA BACH! See what I did there? Bach? No? Okay. But I have got a new chappie! Enjoy!**

**6. Pull a Cairo**

Greninja was derping around in Snake's when it saw a pair of pajamas. In black, of course.

Greninja's personality got the better of it, so it decided to try on the pajamas.

However, Snake was right outside his door, so Greninja replaced Snake's warm, comfy pajamas with the Pikachu pajamas it just so happened to be carrying.

Ninja powers were useful in the situation.

**7. Break the actual fourth wall**

See above for reason why Snake threw grenades.

**8. Tease about gender**

Roy, being Roy, was bothering Marth with girl comments. Marth betted him that the tiara made him look more manly. Roy didn't believe it.

Marth took his sister's tiara off, and it revealed a cascade of long, blue hair!

Roy singed it off with his sword.

**9. Have a sugar rush**

Villager, Toon Link, and Popo were downstairs fighting over the box of cookies Peach had baked the preluding night.

"I get it because I wear green!" Toon Link shouted.

"Nu-unh!" Popo exclaimed.

But then Yoshi came along and ate the box of cookies. The actual box. Like, the cardboard and everything.

Crazy Hand gave out the number two punishment.

**10. Be a shipper**

Robin and Samus were fiddling around on FanFiction, when Link and Male Robin walked by the door.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Samus asked Robin.

"Yes," said Robin with a grin.

This is why nobody in the Smash Mansion supports any kind of shipping.

**Number Six is based off the Kane Chronicles, when Bes and Sadie buy Carter extra large Pikachu pajamas after he faints.**

**Also, you may be wondering, "Why the Tartarus does Marth have long hair?"**

**What do you think would happen if your hair got kept up in a tiara for a couple of years? **


	3. Chapter 3

**Welcome, reader. This is my latest chapter, and it's FUNNY! Cue ****_Here I Come! _****Honk! 'Kay, you can start reading now. Yes, please read. **

**11. Be a Pokémon trainer**

Pichu and Pikachu were walking down the hall, talking in their UNCRACKABLE LANGUAGE. Well, without a translator, that is.

Pit, who did _not _have a translator, didn't understand them. However, this is irrelevant, because what Pit wanted to do was capture them.

He failed, and (apparently) woke up next to a unicorn. He hugged it.

**12. Do intense grocery shopping**

Lucina and Midna were out to do the week's grocery shopping.

Midna got lazy and attached a jet engine to the shopping cart. Mastie was charged 50¥ for the cart. Which, in Smash Mansion money, is equivalent of our 75 dollars.

Crazy Hand.

**13. Screw with magic**

Link was in Zelda's room, annoying her. He wanted to help with the potion she was making.

The princess had enough of this, so she went over to her cupboard, grabbed a potion, and sprinkled it on Link. He turned into a cow.

Linkow was mad, so he also grabbed a potion and turned Zelda into a cat.

This was what the Smashers called the _Day of Whack-O-Mundo Transformationess, _but even better known as another reason SSB4 was delayed.

**14. Go to a county fair**

The 89'th West County fair was up and running!

Ike had brought Marth, Link, Luigi, Little Mac, Pokémon Trainer, and Sonic with him. So many Ls.

They rode many rides, but the highest-rated one was the Deadly Spinning Teacups of Death.

Hedgehog puke smells bad.

Next, they went into the section of the fairgrounds with all the food, games, and little trinket vendors.

Luigi made a dash for the pizza place, while Ike was craving a sno-cone.

That wasn't all that happened, though...

**15. Try the Bell Hammer challenge**

Ike dared Marth to try and ring the bell, and so Marth payed the Toad 5¥, and went to the hammer. He swung and... only made it halfway.

Link, Ike, and Sonic teased him about this, so he swung Falchion at them.

A Police Koopa came up to them and said, "Come with me, boys."

Master Hand had to pay 150¥ bail.

**First, you may be wondering, "Isn't ¥ the symbol for yen?" Well, I'm here to tell you, yes, it is. And I'm only using the symbol, which means the calculations won't be correct. And 14 and 15 were epic!**


	4. Chapter 4

**HEEEEY! Smash here with another chapter of another awesome story! *fireworks* I cannot say how great it is to be here, and... wait, never mind. Just read the chapter.**

**16. Read a novel**

Wii Fit Trainer, who had recently read the Hunger Games, was waiting to see who would fight that day's battle.

When her male counterpart got called, she stood up and shouted, "I VOLUNTEER FOR THE HUNGER GAMES!"

Master Hand didn't seem too happy with that.

**17. Discover the Internet**

Lucas was fiddling around on the day the computers were to get installed in his room.

Once it was in, he decided to go to that website Robin and Peach were on (AKA FanFiction).

His poor, young, frail, cowardly heart couldn't take all the yaoi.

With a contribution of just .30¥ a month, you can help people like Lucas who are in the fetal position, or kitty therapy, or pillow hugging.

_Please. Stop the yaoi._

**18. Sing a pop song**

It all started when Marth stole Ike's iPod.

He saw a song titled 'Call Me Marthie.' He tried playing it.

"Hey, I just beat you,

and this is crazy,

but I look like a girl,

so call me Marthie," iPod Ike sang.

Marth, obviously, was quite mad.

**19. Become Nyan Cat**

It was just a regular meeting of the Smashers. Link, who had also discovered the internet, had a potion out of Zelda's room. Right when Master Hand began talking about renovations to the pool, he poured it on himself.

"Nyanyanyanynaynaynaynaynayanyanyanayanyanyan," Nyan Link chanted to himself while blasting off in a rainbow.

**20. Get a passport**

Palutena was a goddess who loved to travel. But to travel, you need a passport.

It does not help to be a goddess.

**HEY, YOU'RE READING THIS, AND THIS IS CRAZY, BUT I'M ASKING YOU TO REVIEW, THIS DOESN'T FIT WITH THE TUNE!**


	5. Chapter 5

**WOOOOO! Five reviews, and all of them are positive! Uh-huh! *happy dance***

**21. Turn on paid programming**

Mario and Pit were watching television in the living room, when R.O.B. changed the channel to "Medicinal Paid Programming."

"WHAT THE -, R.O.B.?" Mario shouted. But then, Mega Man walked in the room.

The TV blared,"WARNING: Taking Celis may result in suicidal thoughts or actions."

Pit and Mega Man sulked to the corner and got in the fetal position.

**22. Invite a guest**

Roy and Lucina decided to invite Morgan to the Smash Mansion.

While relaxing in the café, Morgan broke out crying.

They kicked her out because of this, and got Tharja instead.

**23. Pretend this is Sparta**

Meta Knight was in a Brawl with Kirby. Right after he saw Gladiators.

He pointed his sword at Kirby, dashed up to the puffball, and shouted,"THIS... IS... SPARTAAAAAAA!"

**24. Play Hetalia**

When the Smashers found out about Earth and its political boundaries, they just had to impersonate them.

Mario and Luigi had enough when they got to Italy.

**25. Take medicine**

"IT CLEARLY SAID ON THE BOTTLE, _DO NOT USE WHILE DRIVING!"_

That's why there was a hole in the Smash Mansion.

**New chappies come out quick, don't they? Oh, well.**


	6. Chapter 6

**HOW THE HECK DID THIS BECOME SO POPULAR? It has the most views on ANY of my stories, and it's the newest one! *random hug***

**26. Open a fast food restaurant**

After the Earth incident (see #24), the Smashers found out more and more about Earth. Needless to say, other fudge happened.

They found out about this great place called McDonalds, and decided to open their own. Oh boy.

**27. Disrespect the customer**

Rosalina was the drive-thru person, and was doing a pretty darn good job at it. However...

Arceus was just trying to get a SmashFilet (the Fish Filet cut into the Smash Ball symbol).

"YOU DARE KNOCK ME OFF THE STAGE, POKÉMON? DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD I WORKED ON THAT BATTLE? BUT YOU JUST HAD TO KNOCK ME OFF WHEN I HAD ONE STOCK LEFT!" Then she started spouting words so vile that it would offend Romano.

Never upset the god of all creation.

**28. Tick off a god**

Rosie came home from work in all manners of pain. And I mean, like, think of a way you can get hurt. Chances are, it happened to her.

"What-a happened?"

"Game Freak happened."

**29. Go on Facebook**

All Diddy Kong meant to do was go on Facebook after a long, hard day's work at McDonalds.

However, he saw a thing saying MD put ammonia in their burgers.

He had eaten three.

**30. Make puns**

King Dedede had read a joke book, and decided to tell Kirby some jokes.

"What has four wheels and flies?"

"Poyo." (I have no idea.)

"A garbage truck!"

"Po, poyo!" (That's not even punny!)

**Yup. Same type of my weirdness. But hey, I guess you like it!**


	7. Chapter 7

**LET YOU READ, LET YOU READ, LET YOU READ THIS NEW CHAPIEEEEEEEE! LET YOU READ, LET YOU REEAD, DON'T TURN AWAY AND CLOSE THE WIINDOW! HERE I WRITEEEEEEEE, IN THE LIGHT OF MY iPad! LET THE CHAPPIES COME OUUUUUUT! The parodies never bothered you anyway.**

**31. Be Einstein **

R.O.B. and Mr. Game and Watch were walking down the hall. They were beeping, bopping, and GLOW MY GOSH- ing.

Prince Sable (A.N, WHAT THE FUZZ?: Boo yah! I'm including the Assists here! *fistypump*) was hiding behind a bathroom door. With white, frizzy hair. And a moustashe. And a lab coat.

"'Ello, guvna! Top 'o the morning to ya!''

"BEEP! BOOP BOOP, BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEP!"

**32. Relive your glory days**

Master Hand was only talking about a school for some of the younger Smashers.

It ended up with Robin in a cheerleader outfit and Marth with a hockey stick.

Oh, and Ike in a coma. On the floor. Spazzing.

**33. Head to the infirmary (again)**

Zelda had made a bet with Ness to see how far they could go up the hugemungous tree in the backyard.

They both fell, but Ness used his psychic powers to save himself.

Zelda, for some reason, couldn't use any magic.

**34. Mess with electronics**

It actually turned out Ness had a magic manipulating remote.

Once getting out of the infirmary, she went back to her potion cabinet. She saw someone had taken the labels off the potions!

Ness stood on the doorway. A wide smile played on his face.

**35. Draw French girls**

Trying to get an art degree from Nintendo U, Pit had to draw a portrait of someone. He chose Palutena, of course.

The end result was a picture of the goddess in the "Draw me like one of your French girls" position.

F!

**The F is from Fairly OddParents.**

**And dat's all I'm gonna say!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for not updating in a while. But I'm back with this new chappie! AND a copy of SSB4! So, EEEEEENNNNNJOYYYYYY! :D**

**36: Learn a new language**

"Bonjour, cá va?"

"WHAT THE HECK, LINK?"

"MERCI! MERCI MERCI MERCI!"

"YGSXOUCHGIODLIGCSBAYIDIYBWEYGIDIYGIUHEWDUIHWEIUHFIHUWEFIUFHHU!"

"Bon beaucoup."

(Translations:

Bonjour, cá va?- Good morning, how are you?

Merci- Mercy

Bon beaucoup- Very good)

**37: Go on vacation**

Along with their earth studies, the Smashers learned about Disney World. Thus, they planned a vacation to Orlando.

Mario couldn't hold in his lunch on Spaceship Earth, Link had a chat with a man in France (World Showcase), and Sonic had caffeine.

**38: Get reeeeeallllyy hyper**

Sonic only wanted to get to the hotel. However, his caffeine boost set the whole of Blizzard Beach on fire.

**39: Make an Internet meme**

Dark Pit was using his computer while listening to a Shulk vs. Robin battle.

This, dear reader, is where the "I'm really _ing it meme came from.

**40: Go on another social networking site**

Ganondorf wanted to see what would happen if he posted a joke on Miiverse.

His joke got 50 yeahs. He rubbed it in Roy's face.

_Smash Comments_

_I actually posted a joke on the Zelda section of Miiverse that got 50 yeahs. It was: "Why doesn't Ganondorf search the Internet? Too many Links." Oh, and SSB4 is EPIC! THE EPITHOME OF AWESOMENESS!_


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, we're back on track. ARE YOU READYYYYYYYY?**

**41. Shine bright**

And we trace back Marth's roots.

Knowing the language he spoke in during battles was from the island country of Japan, Marth decided to see where the Land of the Rising Sun was now.

It ended up with him, Robin, and Luigi singing "Shine Bright Like a Doitsu."

**42. Play life-simulating games**

Link was sitting in his room, bored to the Underworld. So he popped out his Zelda Special Edition 3DS and began playing Tomodachi Life.

Unfortunately for our green-capped Hyrulian, he was busted right when Marth got married to Impa.

**43. Harness the monstrosity that is XD**

Snake was cut from Smash Bros. after Brawl, so he had been brood-texting Sonic all day with emo poetry.

The hedgehog didn't give two Piko-Pikos, however, and texted Snake back the letters "XD".

The soldier and the Mobian hero got in a smiley fight, most of which were NOT smiley.

**44. Become a Grammar Nazi**

Ness' New Years resolution was to help people with their education.

It ended up with Lucas crying, Pac-Man eating Ness' hat, and Bowser Jr. sucker punching a Flying Man where the sun does not shine.

**45. Celebrate a non-existent wedding**

The four cuts from SSBB had their own ways of coping with the pain.

Lucas threw a wedding for his imaginary friends. The flower girl was the Female Villager, who did not appreciate the decorations. So, she took out her ax to chop them down.

"Hey! Where did everybody go?"

**Next chapter is big, guys- ten chappie anniversary! **


	10. Chapter 10

**HAPPY TEN-CHAPPIE ANNIVERSARY EVERYBODY! Also, I did this new thing at school with my friends that'll get integrated into here... YAY!**

**Note: There was an Ebola joke. I took it down.**

**46. Pet someone**

All Toon Link wanted was a little dog. However, Master Hand turned him down, so he did what any self-respecting Hyrulian hero would do.

"Hairy baby..."

"PIKAAAAAAA!"

**47. See a movie, then have the projector fall on your face**

Falco didn't feel like sitting in the front row, so he sat in the back. Right behind the control room.

The projector fell, which would have left the bird with major injuries had he not been wearing his reflector.

Master Hand got sued ¥5,000 by the theater because of the explosion.

**48. Assemble a mattinè**

Sonic was mad. _Really _mad.

He assembled an army of Sonic characters and got cracking.

In fact, the only reason that Nintendo and Sega of America, Japan, and Northern Ireland aren't in ruins right now is that Jet started a war between the mattinè.

**49. Develop a new disease**

Zelda was not just an expert in the field of magic- she'd also had some clear practice in the field of science as well.

"I call it... amnesia."

**50. Celebrate**

Link was holding his annual "you've lived through a year in the Smash Mansion" party.

Yet again, the disco ball fell on Falco.

However, a 80's rainbow pop-star outfit does not come with a reflector.

**I am so mean to Falco, aren't I? *Falco fangirls charge at me* HEELLP!**


	11. Chapter 11

**It's... TIME! **

51.** Try to get into someone else's bedroom**

Duck Hunt was clawing on Dark Pit's door.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BLACK PAINT?"

"Fire!"

"Oooh, oooh, not there."

52.** Shove a mirror into someone's face**

This particular reason would not be so bad had the mirror not have been the Mirror of Truth and the recipient not have been Peach.

"I don't _care _about battling. I just wanna get through life without dying."

"Peach!"

"Hey! What's going on here?"

**53. Hold a "World's Ugliest Girl" contest**

"Yes, hello-a! Welcome to the World's Ugliest Girl contest-a! You there, yes you-a! In the skin-tight, light blue, skin tight Zero Suit!"

Samus, unsurprisingly, used her Zero Lazer on Mario.

"Spaghetti..."

**54. Buy a vehicle**

Bowser Jr. had lots of money. And little boys with lots of money have one dream and one dream only...

"WHEEEEEE!"

"How fast does it go?"

"Fastest mower in town! Four miles a hour!"

**55. Use a cell phone... the wrong way**

"Hey, uh, Zelda?"

"Yes, Robin?"

"Any chance you know what this thing called "twerking" is?"

"May the goddesses be with you, Robin."


	12. Chapter 12

**PLAY PRACTICE. I am SO tired. Just... read the chappie. **

**56. Make up a new language**

Villager and Olimar were just fooling around.

"Fai quoi bingbang parkdisjphey!"

"Quoi corrrouou essaeay kenflacedar."

"Dogam."

"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON IN HERE?"

"Pasgettimarigialia?"

**57. Eat something really important**

Kirby, for unknown reasons, was messing around in Marth's room.

Then he spied something that looked really tasty.

"Kirby... of all the things you could have eaten, you had to eat Falchion."

**58. Add fuel to the fire**

Marth was already having a bad day.

But anyway, Palutena was in her room trying on some hair spray.

"My... m-m-my blu-ue hair spr-ray. It's-it's... GONE!"

"Yeah, about that..."

"PALUTENAAAAAAAA!"

**59. Ask someone to make a special potion for you**

"And make it snappy, Zelda."

"Fine."

_Five minutes later..._

"Okay, let's see if if works."

Marth gugged down the potion and...

"ZELDA! I SAID MONSTER, NOT MUNESTER!"

**60. Find a new hobby**

Fox was bored.

Fox does not look good in a tutu.

Pit has an Instagram account.


End file.
